#and not as a total disappointment or a letdown in any way

[remyfire]

When the writer agonies hit.

[sporesgalaxy]

honestly fascinated by volo not recognizing scrangle as inhuman in the postgame stuff you offered earlier (which HAS been extremely helpful! i've been chewing on it in my brain) because to me volo's whole deal is so entrenched in his own humanity as compared to the world of dangerous creatures and equally dangerous deities he inhabits. like in pla itself and in much of his pokemas dialogue he emphasizes the frequency that someone with his profession and his background finds themselves in life-or-death situations, and for all he's willing to condemn the hisui he knows to unmaking he doesn't seem to view the suffering motivating him as exclusive (between "i imagine we all go through something like that" with his childhood issues and his expectation that the player has dreams of their own + acknowledgement that those dreams don't "leave room" for his own rather than being shocked or even accusatory that someone would be able or willing to stand against him) - like, in rebelling against the god he reveres even through his obsessive anger towards it ("what is it, then, that you find so lacking in me?!" furiously demanded from arceus after he's already professed his intentions towards it is probably my favorite line of his. fucking hits) he's already positioning himself as fundamantally below his opposition, but that's borne out even further by the hisui situation of humans struggling to compete in general. in a weird way him lumping in scrangle with the people he belongs to draws MORE parallels between the two than are even presently there by his own standards

OKAY HIHIHI SORRY I LEFT YOU HANGING A MILLION YEARS. I LOVED THIS I just had to go back and reexamine every decision I ever made about Volo in relation to Scrangle because YOU RAISE GREAT POINTS!

I admit that I think I got my character motivation timing mixed up when I wrote Volo saying "...Whether you are creative or delusional makes no difference to me, little girl." I don't think he'd have THAT much resentment toward Scrangle BEFORE they revealed that the Tyrant they want to destroy is Arceus.

HOWEVER, the other thing motivating that line from Volo was a potent mixture of disappointment and jealousy, which I think he'd already have plenty of by that point. Scrangle FELL FROM THE SKY in OBVIOUSLY ARCEUS-THEMED CLOTHING, and yet at every turn she shows TOTAL irreverence or even malice toward any suggestion of a higher power. Volo DOES have an odd sort-of humbleness about his place in the universe, despite his ambitions to ascend beyond that. So I imagined that someone like Scrangle acting like they're already above everything would really rub Volo the wrong way.

And then to see someone who acts and talks like Scrangle end up battered and bruised by the Frenzied Nobles just like any other human...what a letdown! None of Scrangle's victories against the Nobles were exactly clean-- well, her Pokemon could win cleanly once the Noble could be wrangled into an actual battle, but Scrangle always got pretty severely beat up in the process. Scrangle is good with Pokemon, but in every other respect they seems like theyre every bit the brash, clumsy, foolish child they appear to be, even moreso than the canon PLA protagonist. A Volo who was reckoning with a STRANGER appearing to have been chosen by Arceus from the beginning of the game (thanks to Scrangle's outfit) would I think be more susceptible to skepticism toward Scrangle, for the sake of his own ego as a "humble" pious scholar & Arceus devotee, who nonetheless thinks he can pull of rebuilding the entire world.

I really need to review Volo's interactions with the player thruout the middle of the story to get a finer tune on their whole thing, though. I have vague memories of thinking they'dve had some sour interactions at least one of the times Volo was investigating those runes...

[themattress]

Arcane's second season was shakier than the first, but still hit way more than it missed.

With that said, there is one part of it that I am really, really disappointed in.

(SPOILERS BEHIND CUT)

Jinx.

So, the concept for Arcane and whatever shows follow it is that it's the reality behind the world and characters seen in League of Legends. Legends have to come from somewhere, after all, and we see how they came to be in Arcane. And that works...except for Jinx.

In the first season, there was no such problem. It was masterful in being an origin story for Jinx, concluding with her choosing her path and becoming the nihilistic, psychopathic terrorist that would become legendary for her evil deeds. But similarly to Joker: Folie a Deux and how it handled its title character, the second season displayed great narrative cowardice by backtracking on this. It didn't do it immediately, mind you - Act 1 still had Jinx as she was where we left her, someone whose sole motivation in life is to "watch it all burn". She's not pure evil, as displayed by her bonds with Sevika and Isha, but she's also not redeemable.

Yet then Act 2 starts and she's suddenly become this inspiring symbol of resistance for Zaunites even though her actions have made things objectively worse for them by every metric. She resists this label only to later embrace it, becoming a "big fat hero" as she puts it. Then we get the revelation of Warwick being Vander, which is followed by Jinx reconciling with Vi and basically becoming Powder again, which is followed by her heroically saving Caitlyn's life, which is followed by her losing Isha which turns her suicidal only to be talked down from it by Echo which is followed by the finale where....well, if you're reading this far you probably already know. And all of this is executed pretty well, but it begs the question:

"How the fuck did any of that result in THIS being the public perception of Jinx!?"

How did the legend of Jinx become her as a villain and not her as a hero? She had already become viewed as a hero by Zaun even when she technically wasn't one, and then she played a huge and very flashy role in saving Piltover during the final battle, meaning they should also see her more positively now! There is no logical reason that the narrative of her as a loony terrorist who blows shit up for the lolz should be the one enshrined into legend.

And what hurts is that no other character has this issue. Vi, Caitlyn, Jayce, Viktor, Ekko, Heimerdinger, Singed, Warwick, not to mention the inevitable Mel legend that's going to be added to the game like her mother was...you can totally track how their legendary characters were shaped even if it's not wholly reflective of reality with a lot of nuances missing. But Jinx now has a huge disconnect between the person and the legend that doesn't make any sense.

Like I said, it feels like narrative cowardice. The ending of Season 1 had Jinx choosing the "Jinx" chair over the "Powder" chair, telling Vi things can never go back to how they were between them, and then has her let out a scream as she fires her bazooka at Piltover which was clearly meant to symbolize Powder's death cry; through committing this act, Jinx is killing what was left of her old self. The natural follow-up to this was for her to stay as she was presented in Season 2's Act 1 - no morality, no grander purpose, just living for chaos. But Jinx became popular, including with the writers, and they didn't want to commit to the tragedy they'd so excellently built up. It's such a letdown. Arcane and Jinx both deserved a lot better.

[decks-writing-blog]

Here to Stay Drabbles: That's Why

Summary: Benrey and Breen talk.

[A/N] The direct continuation of chapters 13 and 16.

~

The forbidden nature of Black Mesa’s temporary headquarters had made the idea of going inside enticing. Benrey had considered sneaking in multiple times but had always resisted the temptation. Good thing he had too because it would’ve been a massive letdown. It was just an office building repurposed into being a lab.

Cubicles and computers everywhere. A couple of the cubicles he peaked into did have what looked like science stuff in them but that wasn’t enough to make the layout of the floor less boring. There were no big machines to hum and rattle, meaning the place was also too quiet to feel like a proper lab. It was all just so mundane especially when compared to the old facility.

They finally came to a stop outside the door to Breen’s office, judging based off the plaque reading, ‘DR. BREEN’ on it. It was a plain wooden door, a far cry from the high security he’d had set up around his office at the old facility. Oh how the mighty had fallen.

“You sure you wanna talk to him?” Gordon asked for like the fourth time at least.

“Yup.” Benrey hadn’t been sure the first few times he’d said it but he was now. This was place was as un-scary as it was un-interesting. There was nothing here for him to be worried about. In their current state of operations there wasn’t anything anyone here could do to him. All the worry about secrecy felt silly in hindsight after seeing this place.

“And you’re sure you wanna do it alone?”

“Because you don’t have to,” Tommy added. “We can totally uh, go in there and back you up.”

“And if he tries to be a little bitch, I’ll punch him.” Coomer lifted his hands as if eager to do just that. “And Gordon well shoot him.”

“Uh… probably I won’t shoot him. That’d be a bit much. But everything else applies. We got your back and if he tries to be a piece of shit, we won’t let him get away with it.”

“Thanks but uh, nah. I got this.” Not giving them any more time to reply and not bothering to knock, Benrey phased through the door.

Breen looked up at him with a slight frown as he finished stepping through. “Benrey, I presume.”

“Yup. You wanted to talk to me.”

“Yes. Please have a seat.” He gestured to the chair in front of him.

Benrey walked over but didn’t sit, phasing through it instead to stand in front of the desk and look down at Breen. The first time Benrey had met him, he’d been scary. The big bad boss man of Black Mesa in charge of the whole facility and everyone in it. That had been a long time ago though before Benrey had even named himself. Now, it was glaringly obvious that he was just a normal human. And Benrey also now knew how soft and fragile regular humans were. There was nothing to be afraid of here.

Sometimes when he told himself that, it felt like a lie. Like he was trying to convince himself of it because logically there was no reason for fear but a dumb part of himself was feeling it anyway. Now though he felt… nothing. It was almost disappointing in a way. There wasn’t even any catharsis in realizing that he was the one with the most power in this situation. If it had been his old handlers, the story likely would’ve been different but they were all confirmed dead. Meaning he’d never had any kind of victory moment over them. He’d never had any personal interactions with Breen, making this confrontation rather hollow.

“Very well then,” Breen said with a sigh once he finally accepted Benrey wasn’t going to sit down. “Gordon assures me that you’re a fully thinking person and not merely the intelligent animal I was told you were. Meaning you’re capable of making your own decisions and whatnot. Which also makes you an even bigger success than we’d originally though. A truly glorious feat of scientific achievement.”

“Yeah, I’m uh, pretty cool, huh?”

“I suppose ‘pretty cool’ is one way to put it. But that does mean keeping you a secret is even more paramount. Media attention right now wouldn’t be good for us. So I wrote up this legal document.” He pushed a stack of papers across the table. “Basically it boils down to you promising to keep yourself and all of Black Mesa’s experiment information a secret.”

“What happens if I break it?” Surely he knew he couldn’t do anything to Benrey.

“I doubt I could sue you so instead I’d sue your pal Gordon Freeman. The way he spoke about you indicates you two are good friends so not ruining his life is hopefully good enough motivation.”

Damn. That was a weak point Benrey had, huh? Breen couldn’t do anything to him directly so he’d just hurt Gordon and/or his friends in general instead. Evil but smart.

However, Gordon had told him not to sign anything without reading it first. The stack of papers was big, reading it would take way too long. And if he didn’t sign them any action Breen took against Gordon and the rest of the Science Team would be illegal, right? Maybe it didn’t work like that, how as Benrey supposed to know? It was all kind of a moot point though because…

“I won’t tell anyone. I like being secret.” It was annoying sometimes but having people even try to poke and prod at him would be annoying. Not to mention the position that would put Gordon and the rest of the Science Team in. He’d much rather just hang out and play video games. “So I’ll promise I’ll be good. No legal threat necessary or whatever.

“Now uh, onto real business. I want a job as a security guard.” The idea had occurred to him upon the reveal that Breen knew about him and reinforced upon entering the building and seeing how few security guards they had left. It’s why he’d agreed to talk to Breen alone so he could step out and surprise Gordon in particular with his new role.”

Breen’s frown deepened – did he ever smile? “First off, fine, pushing for more than a mere promise is likely more effort than it’s worth. You break it though and Gordon gets fired. Second, no. I’m not hiring you.”

“Ah, why not? I’m good at it, I promise.”

“Because I’m fairly certain you’re the ‘Benrey’ I’d heard rumors about that disguised himself as a security guard to cause havoc in various parts of the facility. It’s not exactly a common name.”

“I didn’t cause that much havoc.” He mostly just annoyed people which did occasionally result in havoc but he’d never directly caused it. “And I did real guard stuff too.” Or at least he’d sometimes tried to when doing so had seemed fun. What ‘real guard stuff’ was he’d never been told but he’d told people they weren’t allowed to go places and/or steal things and most of the time they listened.

“Still no.”

“But…”

“No ‘but’s. feel like we’re done here so you are dismissed.”

Benrey could argue but probably there’d be no getting through to him. Everyone around the office had always agreed Breen was a hardass, even more so than his predecessor. Who Benrey had never met but it was supposedly an achievement. And so with a sigh, Benrey turned and left, phasing back through the door.

“How’d it go?” Gordon asked. He, Tommy and Coomer were all still standing around, waiting.

“He wouldn’t hire me as a guard.”

The worry on Gordon’s face vanished. “That’s why you wanted to talk to him, huh?”

“Part of it, yeah. Didn’t work though which sucks. Also uh, he made me swear to secrecy ‘bout myself and stuff like you said he would. Tried to make me sign a thing that would let him sue you if I did. I didn’t sign it. I did promise or whatever though. He says he’ll fire you if I break it.”

“He’s a bitch,” Coomer said. “Gordon, if you’d like, I could go in an punch him for threatening to fire and/or sue you.”

“Uh… tempting but no thanks. It shouldn’t be a problem anyway.”

“True,” Tommy said. “Shame you couldn’t get a job here with us though, Benrey. It’d be cool to work together.”

“No, it’s a good thing Breen didn’t hire him,” Gordon cut in before Benrey could reply. “It would’ve meant I was one of his bosses which would’ve been a problem for multiple reasons that I hopefully don’t have to point out. It’s already a bit awkward that I’m your guys’ boss and we’re just friends. And besides, no offense buddy, but you sucked at being a security guard. You’ll do much better somewhere else, trust me.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Show me ‘round the rest of the building though.” Probably nowhere else would hold much more interest than what he’d already seen. But it wouldn’t hurt to look around more while he was he was here.

[rockstartrap]

YOUR LYNNMANDA HEADCANONS? THOUGHTS? OPINIONS?

I can talk about them the whole day!

Most of the things I focus on are pretty silly—mostly tied to my personal AUs, so... sorry if that ends up being a letdown, haha.

Anyway, I don’t think Lynn or Amanda are particularly invested in celebrating commemorative dates (like Christmas, birthdays, etc.). For Amanda, I imagine her indifference stems from her backstory; she probably lost any attachment to these occasions as a child, given what we know about her father. It’s easy to picture her associating those dates with pain or disappointment rather than joy.

As for Lynn, I think she approaches these celebrations more out of obligation than genuine enthusiasm—if that’s the right word. She has a young daughter, and despite everything she’s been through, I like to think she makes an effort to show up for her daughter’s sake. Kids tend to love these moments, after all. While Lynn might not care about the dates herself, she goes along with them because it matters to Corbett.

Anyway, I think that, even though neither of them particularly care this kind of thing, they'd still go out of their way to do something thoughtful for each other—just as a more tangible way of showing they care (not that it's really necessary, because let’s be honest, they’re *down bad* for each other). Like, I can totally picture Amanda trying to bake a cake for Lynn’s birthday, or Lynn picking out something meaningful for Amanda. It just...feels like the kind of thing they’d do.

Anyway, thanks for the ask!! Sorry again if it was dissapointing.

[yanderecyberpunkimagines]

Love your blog,got one suggestion

Yandere Kerry Eurodine

He 100% gives off some obsessive vibes

------------

And I totally agree. I have the feeling that, from the second it was hinted that he was being pressured by the lack of recent creativity and some things that followed after that, he seemed to me like the type who would try to keep his obsession as close to him as he can to battle that, if you get what I mean.

These are general headcanons of what he'd roughly be like as a yandere from my perspective.

-----------

Kerry Eurodyne

* Due to his checkered past, keeping the parts in mind which also includes his ex-wife, it may take Kerry a bit of time to fall for you. Especially when you are a civilian. But once he does, he falls hard.

* Kerry's struggles with keeping solid relationships actually intensify his obsession. He longs for genuine connection, and finds solace in none other than you, seeing you as the key to filling the void left by his fractured family life and disconnected friendships.

* Kerry's obsession is deeply rooted in his quest to escape Johnny Silverhand's shadow as well. He fixates solely on you as a symbol of breaking free from the past and establishing his own identity- made evident of how he tries so hard to prove himself worthy of you in any way that he can. On that note, his fear of losing you instead also makes him vulnerable. Kerry's possessiveness stems from a deep-seated insecurity, fearing that without you, he’ll regress back into the void.

* His obsessive tendencies manifest strongly in his music as he finally finds a source of inspiration. He pens songs that subtly reference his need for control and the fear of being overshadowed, using his lyrics as his form of a rather manipulative confession. Yet, longing is also subtly woven through the melodies as well, and his fans won’t realize the underlying intensity of his emotions that may be ebbing through the cracks.

* His fame becomes a bit more of a blessing to him once he manages to get to you. Kerry will use his celebrity status to control aspects of your life, trying to isolate you to maintain his perceived grip on your supposed relationship. This control extends effortlessly due to the sophisticated security measures in and around his villa, including a bot keeping an eye on you when he’s not around. Should you manage to escape, he’ll simply utilize the right contacts to swiftly get you to be returned to him. In the face of such actions, Kerry doesn't exactly react with anger, but with immense disappointment. His sense of betrayal emerges not as rage, but as a profound letdown in your perceived lack of understanding. You may think so otherwise.

* He needs constant validation. He’ll fixate on you as a source of emotional stability and completeness, unable to accept any form of rejection or separation. Really. Do not even think about it. Because if you do, his obsession will blur the lines between right and wrong. He’ll justify his resulting actions as necessary steps to protecting you and what he perceives as his salvation from a life shadowed by regret and missed opportunities.

* Despite his fame and success, Kerry still battles with feelings of inadequacy. His obsession with you often hinges on your admiration for him, seeking constant praise to solidify his worth.

* A yandere who could actually be saved from himself. Genuine acceptance and love from you could potentially offer Kerry a path to healing, allowing him to confront his past and embrace a healthier mindset.

[decepti-thots]

4, 9 and 12 for the book meme game? :-)

Dd you discover any new authors that you love this year?

I read Emily Zhou's debut collection, Girlfriends, and REALLY enjoyed it! 'Contemporary short stories that are mostly dialogue' is a form I enjoy when pulled off well but for which I have a high bar before I will say it was pulled of well, and the stories in that collection all landed for me in that sense, which is impressive. I also loved the novel I read from Anya Johanna DeNiro, OKPsyche, and immediately went and either read other work by her or added it to my to-read list. Both writers I will be keeping an eye out for new releases from in the future. I also read Eka Kurniawan after meaning to get around to him last year, and while his short story collection was more hit-or-miss, the novel of his I read (Man Tiger) really impressed me.

Did you get into any new genres?

One kind of nonfiction I very rarely read is longform biography, but this year I read one so damn good (Super-Infinite: the Transformations of John Donne) that it inspired me to try, next year, to read some more of those. I'm gonna be prowling around looking for stuff in the same vein. It was a total surprise to me how much I enjoyed it.

Any books that disappointed you?

I really wanted to like Transland: Consent, Kink and Pleasure. I really really did. A book looking at kink through the lens of trans experience is an easy sell for me. Unfortunately it is quite poorly written, has very little interesting to say about its topic for most of the time, and also goes some strangely conservative places in a way that feels totally unselfaware, including around gender and transness. Actually, I think I should go drop the rating on storygraph tbh, now I'm thinking about it, that book was such a letdown.

[circadianwolf]

Shadow of the Erdtree thoughts

[Originally posted on Cohost 25/8/24. Edited for formatting because tumblr apparently refuses to allow nested lists in any fashion.]

I finally finished SOTE yesterday. Putting these thoughts in a post for linkage elsewhere. Spoilers obviously.

First:

I think base game Elden Ring is beautiful, and I think the DLC is as well. I really enjoyed how the DLC immediately pushes into new palettes and biomes that weren't seen in the base game - from the starting prairie area (how rare to say "I like their use of brown" but it really does work for me) to some of the much more outlandish later areas. I feel like the day-night transitions also have a lot more color shifts in the sky that look really great.

Second:

I found the DLC narratively disappointing. I liked the NPCs (and was fortunate enough to not break any of them outside of some minor stuff with Thiollier and Moore) and I liked the concept of the hornsent and their relationship with Marika, but the actual Miquella plot is a real letdown to me.

These games (Demon Souls/Dark Souls/Bloodborne/base Elden Ring) are obviously associated with ambiguity (though I think sometimes that is overblown, e.g. in the first Dark Souls), but after finishing this DLC, looking up stuff I missed, and reading some other people's comments, I genuinely do not know what Miquella needs from the Land of Shadow, what the connection is between Messmer's position in the Land of Shadow and Miquella's goals, or what the player's role in the Land of Shadow is. This is literally the central plot of the DLC, and I feel like I should not be in the dark about it. It kind of seems like Miquella just needs to walk through a hole in some rocks (a hole we are prevented from walking through not by some message about being unfit for godhood, but by a 5 foot rise of rock), which seems very silly.

I hated the suggestion some people made from the base game that Miquella charmed Mohg into kidnapping him, and I hate that it is directly brought up here. I would like to read this as denial on Ansbach's part, but I feel like the game leans pretty strongly toward this being true. (It also doesn't really make sense to me within the world of the fiction, because if Miquella can charm Mohg, why can't he just charm Radahn in the first place? If Miquella can charm demigods, why is there even any civil war among them at all? Can't Miquella just win automatically?)

I don't mind many of the things left confusing or ambiguous in the base game being unaddressed here (I would still very much like anything at all pointing me toward a specific interpretation of what Radagon actually is, but I understand that isn't directly relevant to this DLC), but the almost total lack of reference to the Albinaurics is pretty disappointing to me. So much of the story of Miquella in the base game centers on the Albinaurics' faith in him, and the absence of any elaboration one way or the other on that seems very odd.

Radahn's reappearance, while not entirely out of the blue, does strike me as strange and unsatisfying. I didn't expect to fight Miquella directly, so that's not my issue here; but Radahn feels like a rerun, not just of himself and Mohg but also of Dark Souls 3's Twin Princes. Part of this is certainly bound up with my opinions on the final boss as a gameplay experience (see below), but I also think, trying to set the actual fight aside, there's nothing interesting done with bringing Radahn back. I saw someone postulating an alternative final boss with Miquella resurrecting Godwyn's spirit in Mohg's body instead, and while obviously my imagination has less constraints than game development, I found that idea immediately more compelling in its storytelling potential than Radahn.

Third:

On the whole, I enjoyed the big setpiece fights of this DLC, with one extremely glaring (and unsurprising, given the reception I've now been reading) exception.

Bosses I liked:

Rellana is a fun reprise of some visuals I've really enjoyed before - I am one of those people who loves Artorias, Pontiff Sulyvahn, and Dancer of the Boreal Valley.

The Divine Beasts are incredible fights to look at. I feel like they would be a nightmare to actually parse as fights in melee, but fortunately I wasn't trying to do that.

Bayle is a great new dragon fight (although the other dragon fights, like those in the base game outside of Fortissax and Placidusax, feel too repetitive).

The Scadutree Avatar is a great new giant monster fight.

Leda & co. is the only good version of this kind of fight From has ever done. I really like Dryleaf Dane.

Bosses that didn't make much of an impression on my positively or negatively:

Messmer, Romina, Metyr, Putrescent Knight. I do appreciate Romina for finally giving us a version of Scarlet Aeonia that is regularly usable though - I used it for basically all the bosses afterward, including many of the final base game bosses as I finished my replay.

The boss I thought absolutely sucked:

Radahn.

On top of being narratively uninteresting, as I mentioned above, the fight feels like a remix of stuff we've seen before that doesn't evoke anything new from their combination. The only really unique part of the boss fight, I think, is Miquella's grab, which is a neat gimmick but not enough to overcome how much of a slog the fight is.

I think the most infuriating thing to me is that it feels straight up worse to bring in the story NPCs for the fight - your reward for having completed their quest lines and brought them to this climatic fight is that the fight gets much longer and harder (because they don't contribute damage to match the boss's increased EHP). It's a bizarre choice to me when in this very DLC there are multiple bosses that let you summon NPCs into them without affecting the boss, because the game wants you to use them! But here it feels like you are punished for doing so. (I must admit I also made this harder on myself because my replay character was a gimmick build centered on applying buffs and debuffs, using spirit ashes and NPC summons to do much of the damage.)

The boss is also one of those, common in these later games and especially their DLCs, that does extremely long combos of attacks with few and small opportunities to counter attack, which I find to be an uninteresting challenge.

Overall:

I enjoyed most of my time with this DLC, because I like playing Elden Ring. I had had a desire to replay Elden Ring repeatedly since I first completed it and largely held off, because the base game is so damn big and I could not justify it to myself over doing many other things with my time. I said I would allow myself to do so when the DLC came out, and I did that (starting a few weeks before the actual DLC release, so I would be ready to go in when it dropped).

The base game is still largely good, and as I said, I really enjoyed exploring the new regions of the DLC just to see the beautiful, weird landscapes and the freaks that they were populated with. But having completed it, I feel very mixed about it; without a satisfying narrative to tie it all together - or even just an unsatisfying but compellingly confusing collection of narrative pieces to chew on and ponder, which is how I mostly feel about the base game - Shadow of the Erdtree ultimately feels like less than the sum of its parts.

ETA: Shoutouts to Jolan and Anna, who carried my spirit-focused build in the endgame when my Greatshield Lads were finally no longer able to do the job.

[cartograffiti]

June and July '24 reading diary

I was so busy in July I simply never did my June post, so it's a twofer!

Way back in May I borrowed all the literary-inspired cookbooks my library had, and the two I finished looking at in early June were The Book Lover's Cookbook by Jensen and Wenger, and The Book Club Cookbook, by Gelman and Krupp. Both have really approachable recipes, with The Book Club Cookbook having the edge on the recipes being inspired by the text and a little more exciting. I didn't find the selection of books featured terribly inspiring in either, and The Book Lover's Cookbook has a prevalence of Mormon literary fiction that explains what I'd loosely thought of as a Midwestern je ne sais quois in the food. Neither book is nearly as good as Kate Young's Little Library series, so! That's that on that, check out Kate Young if you like themed meals too.

An even more disappointing cookbook for me was The Drunken Botanist: The Plants That Create the World's Great Drinks by Amy Stewart. The stories about each plant are less interesting than the same author's Wicked Plants, and there's a real problem with the text uncritically repeating claims rooted in marketing or racism about the quality or appeal of different items. A letdown! I'm glad I borrowed it instead of buying!

An interesting gothic novel set in Jamaica and England, The Confessions of Frannie Langton was pitched to me totally incorrectly as a romantic mystery. I enjoyed what it is very much once I got over expecting an arc in line with those genres! It's a very disturbing story in which a woman recalls her life as a slave and a free servant, including acting as assistant to race scientists, and the overlaps and problems present in sex work, domestic service, and marriage for women in the 19th century. Sara Collins writes gorgeous sentences, the emotional intensity always felt commensurate with the material in any given scene, and she created a really special character in Frannie, who has complex and sometimes difficult to read feelings about her own agency. In particular, this book has the most powerful portrayal I've ever read of acts of racism particular to white abolitionists, and their need for "perfect victims." Collins also narrates the audiobook, which I highly recommend.

A book that was not for me is Y/N by Esther Yi. This is a literary fiction book about a woman who writes self-insert fanfiction about her favorite K-pop idol, and also about the relationship between the viewer and the artist, the lover and the beloved, the artist and the creation, the believer and the religion. It's about identity, loneliness, and searching for connection. It's a funny book, but it's a very cerebral surreal philosophical story, and this is only going to be for you if you're up for meeting the book's high level of effort. For me, the highly stylized and ambiguous sentences occasionally irritated me to the point of physical pain. I wish I could recommend it more warmly!

I also wish I'd straightforwardly enjoyed Rita Mae Brown's Wish You Were Here. This is a Virginia book with a richness of local detail and expression that really tickled me, even though the mystery was a bit too easy. It also has conversations between the adorable pet characters where they promote eugenics and pathological models of crime. I realize this sounds ridiculous. It was really jarring, and I'm torn about whether to read more and find out whether this is the only incidence.

Over Sea, Under Stone by Susan Cooper is one of those major children's books I never read as a child, a nice romp about siblings on vacation in Cornwall trying to find the Holy Grail before nebulous bad guys get it first. Very charming, if not quite engaging enough for me, but I understand it picks up when magic is introduced in the next book. I'll probably read that and find out.

The Star Wars anthology From a Certain Point of View (ed. Elizabeth Schaefer) has some very fun stories, mostly by authors I already knew I liked, and a whole bunch of stories that made me mutter various levels of "Oh, fuck off." I think a) some of these people don't understand how to utilize fanfiction, b) a certain amount of making the Empire characters sympathetic is reprehensible, and c) it is incredible how many writers will invent a daughter (specifically a daughter) for characters to cheaply jerk reader tears. My favorite pieces were Meg Cabot's sweet look at Beru and the two about doing paperwork. I'll probably read the other two 40th anniversary anthologies they did to scan for fave writers and mutter about the same problems again.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a book I remember my dad liking when I was a kid--and I remember him following the issues with Stieg Larsson's estate, too--and I only sort of knew what it was about. I knew it's a suspense mystery about a journalist and a hacker PI catching rapist-murderers (the Swedish title translates to something like "the men who hate women," which is more appropriate imho). I wasn't prepared for what a nice meditation it is on friendship, isolation, and the ways society fails vulnerable people. I also wasn't aware Larsson was an expert researcher and exposer of neo-Nazi/far right/racist hate groups, which is relevant, too. It's a brutal book, but not bleak. I unsurprisingly love Lisbeth, and while there are some writing choices I truly hate, I love that she's kind of a mess. I will also offer a hot take that I think this would have been a better book without the romance subplot. Still fascinating, and I will read the other two in the series that weren't ghostwritten.

I finished the Lymond Chronicles at last with both The Ringed Castle and Checkmate, and I screamed and screamed and clapped like a seal. Nothing new to say about the series, they're wildly engaging and also frustrating in some important ways, and I'm very glad I read them and more glad I read them with friends.

I also picked back up with reading Jordan L. Hawk's Whyborne & Griffin books with Maelstrom. This is a hugely silly series, which I needed because just look how many heavy and heartbreaking books I've been reading! Monster of the week scares (rats with human faces! cults with unspecific goals!) that appeal to the same reasons I like the Rachel Weisz Mummy movies, great sex scenes, interpersonal problems with heart. Which characters are cartoon characters and which aren't is a little bit scattershot, and that really showed up in this one, but oh well, it was a hoot.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde is the Anti-Matter Universe version of Legally Blonde. The story follows the same broad strokes with the same characters - it's practically the same movie, down to that one bad cringey comedic scene in the middle - except this time, none of it works. At all.

Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) is now engaged to Emmett (Luke Wilson). To have the perfect wedding, she wants her chihuahua’s mother to attend. Unfortunately, the dog’s mother is owned by a cosmetic company that uses her to test products. Having found a new calling, Elle leaves Boston and goes to Washington, D.C. to work on a bill that will outlaw animal testing in the United States.

Two things made Legally Blonde an unexpected treat: Reese Witherspoon’s portrayal of Elle and the way the character was written. As before, Witherspoon is terrific in the role. She fully commits and is so bubbly you instantly fall for her. You side with Elle right away, even if the incident that’s prompting her crusade for animal rights is pretty stupid. Witherspoon's charms count for a lot but not enough, not when the screenplay by Kate Kondell is this awful.

Now that Elle Woods has graduated college and moved onto the big leagues, her brain has shriveled. It’s that scene where she walks into class with nothing but a pink, heart-shaped notebook and a fuzzy pen all over again. You’d think the years of studying and school would’ve trained her for the real world, but no. Over and over, she proves herself who everyone thinks she is: clueless, totally out of place and unfit to perform the task at hand. I feel so sorry for any young girls (or boys, I suppose) who saw "Legally Blonde", admired Elle's ability to be both a capable lawyer and a woman who dressed fashionably, became inspired and then went to see this follow-up. Why such a drastic change? Because of Amanda Brown, or rather, the lack of. The first movie was based on her experience studying at Arizona State University. It was both funny and although exaggerated, had just enough basis in truth to be relatable. Red, White & Blonde is science fiction.

Even if you’ve never been interested in politics, you can tell all of this is plastic. The Congressmen who pose an obstacle to “Bruiser’s Bill” are just a single conversation from doing a complete personality 180. The villains are either never adequately addressed or taken down with such ease you’ll roll your eyes.

Another layer of artificiality hangs over the entire movie: the plot itself. Not the wedding; Elle’s quest to abolish animal testing. In the real world, that stuff still happens so what does it matter if she succeeds on the screen? It’s a pointless victory. Even if you ignore the dated and embarrassing gay stereotypes (let’s be fair to the movie, as it was released 12 years before same-sex marriages were allowed in the U.S.), you won’t be able to dismiss a cheerleading scene so misguided it makes you want to die or the fact that the stakes are just too high for Elle to lose. I mean, is anyone wondering whether the film will end with Bruiser's mother still getting cruelly used in a lab with all the pink and the gags surrounding that colour?

Though Luke Wilson only makes a brief appearance, most of the other characters you liked before (such as Jennifer Coolidge’s Paulette) return. Notably absent is Selma Blair’s Vivian, who has been rebooted as Grace (Regina King). More attention is given to the legal case and less to the romance, which makes it a poor man’s version of the original movie or a gender-swapped even poorer version of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

Legally Blonde 2 is a profoundly disappointing follow-up. We're talking Bridget Jones' Diary 2 kind of letdown. The conclusion hints at a sequel which you’re unlikely to have any kind of appetite for but I’m sure if it ever happens it’ll be better than the next actual chapter in the series, Legally Blondes. (June 26, 2020)

[theromanbarbarian]

Oh, hello Shanghai Maglev train, didn't see you there, come in come in...

We need to talk

Look, there's no easy way to say it, so I'm just gonna do it: you're not a very good train.

Yes, Yes I know you're the only commercial high speed maglev in the world and I know you are very popular with tourist. But in this blog we don't want flashy novelty tourist traps, we want honest to god, good old fashioned functional railways.

I gotta admit I had very high hopes for you. When I heard that I could take a maglev train from the shanghai airport to the city, I was exited for a lightning fast, smooth and silent ride. Then I saw your price: 50 yuan. Now before you say "That's only 7 dollars", I want you to consider that your direct competitor the Shanghai metro trip costs just 7 yuan, that's 7 times cheaper. If your goal is to give joyrides to rich tourist the price doesn't really matter, but if your target rider is the average inhabitant of shanghai, this price difference already makes you way less attractive.

Moving on to the ride itself, I don't really have too many complaints. It was pretty silent, far from being uncomfortable. You do have a tendency of leaning pretty strongly into the curves, giving you kind of a roller-coaster feeling, maybe exiting for someone riding you for the first time, but it would get annoying for someone taking you regularly. Oh, and one other thing 300 km/h isn't really impressive anymore, nowadays you can get this from almost any conventional high-speed rail, really feels like you are not taking full advantage of the technology. Yes, you did use to be faster: 431 km/h pretty nice, but how does that impress your current riders?

I have to admit till now there was nothing really that disappointing, yeah you were overpriced and touristy, but that's ok, you could be a little indulgence that makes the ride from the airport faster and a bit more exiting. The real letdown, came after the trip, when I realized as I exited the station, that I wasn't in the bustling center of Shanghai, not even close to it! Instead you brought me to Longyang Road a full 20 minute metro ride from the center. This makes you totally useless for the regular rider, imagine, you are paying 7 times more for an indirect trip, than for a direct one, would you take that deal? Even for the tourist that doesn't really care about the price, the experience of a fast modern maglev ride, is undercut a bit if you have to take a metro afterwards to get anywhere, certainly makes you rethink whether you want to take the maglev back to the airport or whether its more convenient to just stay in the metro.

And there you go again talking about the track extension. How long have you been promised that already? Since 2006? Let's face it: It's not gonna happen. And in a few years the express line between the airport and city and you will be completely irrelevant.

Believe me, I don't take any pleasure in saying this, but you're on track to become a relic. A reminder of technology that we thought was gonna be the future, but didn't pan out that way, or if the Chūō Shinkansen works out, an early stumble on the road to the new revolutionary technology.

Anyway I hope you don't take this too hard, I just thought someone should tell you the truth. Now smile, I gotta take a picture for the "trains which don't live up to the hype" wall. You'll be right next to the Katoomba scenic railway.

[twenytwenytwo]

Dec 28 2022 (8:39am)

Another day of pleasant weather.

I was thinking about my touchiness lately, my propensity for getting fired up, negatively charged, whatever you want to call it, while on my walk.

Having an anxiety response to the thought of not recording enough, or not being a rockstar, or something like that is a product of just plain broken logic.

The anxiety response is “designed” to keep me alive, free from broken bones, etc, therefore any time in is activated when nothing of the sort is occurring, is not only an inappropriate response, it’s also not equipped to do anything about what’s it’s responding to.

To be clear, if I feel like I really need to be productive today, and it gets me anxious, it’s 1.) a needless response and 2.) can’t do anything about it anyway, because that part of the brain has no idea what productivity is, so it can’t even help.

Part two. It’s responding to a slightly crooked sense of reality. Nothing that the fear centre of me actually considers “bad” is happening. I’m not dying, bleeding out, being chased by a predator, etc. This crooked sense of reality has been constructed over time by me and my expectations.

By setting my expectations so high, I’ve primed my system to have a very low threshold for what registers as “wrong”. I’ve very stiffly committed to a standard of excellence the past few years (or possibly my whole life), which in the face of life, is totally irrelevant.

People dreams are regularly crushed. My dreams are crushed then they are fulfilled. There are more letdowns and successes. There is more defeat than victory. But to be clear, this is only because we’ve raised the bar for what constitutes a defeat, and have therefore made it more common and more easy to fail and thus feel disappointed, etc.

These “successes”, these things that make up an ideal circumstance are almost, if not completely luxuries. The bare necessities of life are food, shelter, and then the first gifts are family and friends, and then basic comfort. Once you form a community and have somewhat of a sense of safety, friends, regular food and warmth… you’re doing good. Even then, that can be taken from you, basic as it may be.

These days, high comfort is common and considered the norm, if not a right. It’s getting to the point now where self-glorification, glamour and overall luxury are the baseline. And thus, we have 10 millions ways to be disappointed, and of course are often disappointed as a result.

Lowering our expectations is not dehumanizing ourselves, it is putting the bar in it’s rightful place, a position where the luxuries of modern life can be appropriately enjoyed, and are not considered to be necessities, consciously or unconsciously.

Not having brand new clothes, or expensive music gear, or self righteousness and glory has nothing to do with what our anxiety response is actually for. Yet we have found a way to connect a little wire up to it, to set it off, constant false alarms.

Finally, making it more personal. Because recording cool music is not a necessity, and an anxiety response in it’s potential absence plainly makes no sense and, if my conceptions about life are tidy and sound, recording cool songs is reduced to what it truly is: a fun, somewhat extraneous activity.

And finally, because these anxiety responses are not rooted in a sound, realistic view of life, they must simply be disregarded. Or better put, not acted upon, otherwise you are acting as though they are true. The only appropriate time to play and record music, is when you want to. Is when it sounds like fun.

[clockwork-carstairs]

I think anyone who’s read chot and finished feeling disappointed or uneasy with the lack of moral nuance should read this. This is IT.

The lack of good/bad nuance was one of THE biggest letdowns of chot, and I think seen most clearly in the scene where Grace confesses to Jesse. When I tell you I had to skip it because I hated Jesse so much in that moment 🤡 like that’s your sister, who you, more than anyone know was abused her whole life, who gave herself up to try do one thing right after a lifetime of being used as a demonic tool for her mother’s sick agenda (can I repeat, HER MOTHER’S SICK AGENDA) — who unlike James (and I’m not justifying what he went through or saying it wasn’t bad) has no support system at all. I’m not saying what grace did wasn’t terrible, but if there was ANYONE who could have shown her one semblance of understanding, just one bare fraction of it, it should have been jesse. it should have been jesse. and he didn’t. not one ounce of it. it was just awful to read. like reading an oversimplified children’s book where the Good Guys Are All Good and the Villain is 100% Bad In Every Way.

No — what Jesse does, when his sister tells him the way she was used by their mother whom he knows to be abusive and sick, from the prison cell that she gave herself up to, is immediately forget any of that and feel nothing but repulsion. Where is the consistency? Where is the loyalty? Where is the basic empathy for your sister, and if not that then for a tortured and hopeless girl who all her life had only experienced a toxic and cruel excuse of ‘love’? Grace was the tool for TATIANA’S sick desires. But he did not give one damn. I never saw Jesse the same after that.

I find it necessary to say that I am not excusing what Grace did or saying what James went through wasn’t horrible, it was, but the fact that non-graces (and in a way that’s how it’s portrayed) are treated like 100% total saints, always the victims, always done wrong and grace herself is seen as 100% a morally wicked villain who inflicted harm on purpose all the time, none of which is true, when we could’ve had some acknowledgment of the moral mid-ground where both exist was such a disappointment.

"Mine is a complicated story, and people do not want to hear complicated stories. They want simple stories, in which people are either good or evil, and no one good ever makes a mistake, and no one evil ever repents."

not jesse saying this quote at the beginning of CHOT just to absolutely relentlessly crucify and ostracize his little sister grace, who this quote applies to a thousand times better. it’s the hypocrisy for me.

[mellowgoop]

Im so excited to be enjoying love live and turning into an actual fan again... its been a long two years since I started to lose interest, thanks to the total letdown that was SIFAS after years of patient diligent waiting for the real nijigasaki story

in hindsight, it's actually incredibly sad that niji as a "third gen" got mostly scattered to all of these random series and medias with disconnected or sometimes totally different characterizations and stories that just kind of lazily evolved together sometimes doing the right thing sometimes totally screwing up. I didn't realize just how often I was disappointed with it as a fan. but as any niji historian will tell you, they werent intended to have this much stuff at all. it's actually a miracle that through rocky years they've ended up established as a solid third branch and didn't get tossed out at any point

then you look back at these last couple of years and it's just an incredible turn... music and constant activity for every group that can do it, two anime that are seriously pushing the series towards way more interesting stories and character stuff, and best of all the concession that they totally screwed up with all stars and are bailing back to school idol festival two

I just think it's such a more appropriate fit than whatever they were going for with all stars... they dropped the ball really hard for me before, but when I look at the direction they're turning with this newer stuff and just all the great music and anime that's come out I really am so excited for the future. it's easy to give them a second chance now

[hafanforever]

Just have something to say...

Although I’m nowhere near as active on Twitter as I am here on Tumblr, for months now, when I do wander over there, I have seen many Frozen-related posts with the hashtag #BringElsaHome. Recently, I have seen more posts with people declaring anger, sadness, and disappointment that post-Frozen II books/comics are barely mentioning Elsa, not showing the Northuldra, or that there is nothing to show Anna and Elsa remaining in touch with each other despite living in two different place.

Seeing all of that made me want to speak up and share something with all of you fans, whether or not you follow me or if you are on here or Twitter more often.

As my good friend @greatqueenanna stated and organized in this post, and as we both said in our two-part collaboration essay “Canon Fodder”, much of the printed media for Frozen and Frozen II, be it chapter books, picture storybooks, and SPECIFICALLY comics (which I perceive as virtually nothing more than illustrated fan fiction) in magazines and as collections in books aren’t necessarily canon to the franchise. In other words, despite these stories offering a significant amount of lore, particularly those that are set after the events of the first or both movies, if there is no proof or confirmation that the filmmakers of Frozen had any involvement with the writings and creations of these media, much less make any kind of approval or acknowledgement on their parts, then they are not truly canon to the movies.

The only books that @greatqueenanna and I consider to be true canon to the franchise are Forest of Shadows, a prequel novel that takes place a month before Frozen II, and Dangerous Secrets, also a prequel novel that tells Agnarr and Iduna’s stories from the time of the battle in the Enchanted Forest to when they have grown up, married, and had their daughters. I say these two books are strong canon primarily because their respective authors Kamilla Benko and Mari Mancusi even confirmed in the interviews below that they worked with the film team while writing them.

https://www.yayomg.com/frozen-2-forest-of-shadows/

https://www.laughingplace.com/w/articles/2020/11/03/frozen-2-dangerous-secrets-interview-with-mari-mancusi/

Additionally, there are a few comic series where their author Joe Caramagna confirmed on Twitter that he worked with Jen Lee while writing them. These series are Breaking Boundaries, The Hero Within, Reunion Road, and True Treasure, the last one being one in particular that sets up Anna and Elsa’s journeys in Frozen II.

The way I see it, an important proof and major benefit that helps support these novels and comics as canon is that, since they were created under a collaboration and consultation with the filmmakers, the stories preserve the series’ continuity, meaning the filmmakers help ensure that what is written is accurately consistent to the films with few to no contradictions or discrepancies. However, other comics, illustrated stories, and chapter books, such as A Frozen Heart and the series Anna & Elsa: Sisterhood is the Strongest Magic, have no proof of approval or consultation from the filmmakers, and some of them contain contradictions to the films.

Now I’m not trying to dismiss any of you fans who dislike the ending of Frozen II, because all of us have rights to our own opinions. However, if you are disappointed by it even more because post-movie books and comics appear to be an even bigger letdown, I want to try and help ease your feelings by letting you know that this media isn’t actually, and shouldn’t be considered as, strict canon. Again, this is especially if nothing proves or confirms that the film team had any approval or involvement with making them, and if there is even no acknowledgement from them on it, either. If anything, the team is most likely totally unaware that these books or, more likely, comics, even exist. I once saw images of a Frozen/Frozen II comic submitted with Kristen Anderson-Lopez tagged in it, and she replied to it by saying she had no idea these comics even existed.

So once again, all of what I said about what printed media is canon or not is something vital to keep in mind if you don’t like the ending. I’m not at all saying it’s wrong if you dislike the ending, but I want to make it clear and put you at ease some more about these post-Frozen II stories.

[swanhookheart]

Angry Grishaverse book review time!

After watching and LOVING s1 of Shadow and Bone, I read the trilogy! I was not impressed. 

Spoilers incoming for Grishaverse stuff, so if you don’t want those, don’t read on!

Watching Shadow and Bone this past weekend, I was hooked : Darklina, the lore behind the amplifiers, the Aleksander backstory… I was really impressed and hoped that this was it--that at last, I’d found a fantasy series that was going somewhere big, something I could really, thoroughly sink my teeth into. 

*Sigh* 

Then I read the books.

The reader / viewer enters the Grishaverse associating darkness with pure evil. The Fold, described early on, is shown to be this bleak, awful, ruinous place where people go to be eaten alive by volcra and hope goes to die. We therefore, naturally, associate the Darkling--who possesses the power of shadow--with that evil from the off. I’m speaking as someone who only got into the Grishaverse last Saturday. My initial thoughts were, “oh, he’s being set up to be viewed as dark and scary; this is the expectation Bardugo wants us to have so that we’ll be blown away by some great twist later. Count me in!”

But that twist never came. He was set up as evil, and he stayed evil. Surprise, he’s the Black Heretic! Surprise, he’s an abomination effectively created by Morezova’s greed! Surprise, he’s ruthless and horrible and does cruel things! Except none of those things are actually surprising, given he was SET UP from the beginning to be viewed that way. He did bad things, walked a bad walk, and talked a bad talk. I kept thinking “ah, so he’s gonna get a sweeeet redemption arc,” and then he just never did. That element of the story was predictable to a nauseating degree, and that predictability made the entire universe feel a bit flat. If the reader saw more of his backstory, had more real, logical, sound justification for why he does the things he does (like in the show, where they at least tried to paint his actions as borne of some misplaced sense of servitude / protection for the Grisha or where we saw him actively struggling at points to grapple with the darkness inside him), then maybe the trilogy wouldn’t have been such a letdown. And yes, I know about his sacrifice or whatever later on. It’s not enough.

In villains, I and probably plenty of others like to see humanity. We want to empathize with our villains to a certain extent--to understand them just a little bit--so we can fully commit to hating them when they violate our trust. The Darkling didn’t have that human, redeeming quality, though--at least, not in the books. In the books, he was just a power-hungry jackass who simultaneously didn’t want to be alone and kept trying to kill his only opportunity not to be alone. His single-mindedness, his lack of human empathy, the simplicity with which he pursued this made him seem almost stupid to me as a reader. For someone who’s lived hundreds of years, he’s kind of an idiot when it comes to other people--which, itself, almost seems incongruous with his having lived for so long. If he’d maybe had more backstory or more in his story to justify his actions, maybe he’d feel like a better villain. But atm, all I’m doing is rolling my eyes with him. I couldn’t love him because he didn’t put in any work toward being a better person. Even in the end, he doesn’t actually do the work or repent. But I also can’t hate him because the source material hasn’t given me enough actual human qualities to hate or to feel betrayed. His character just… missed the mark for me. 

As did Mal’s. Fucking MAL, oh my GOD! This dude’s literal only personality trait was loving Alina. Cool, he could track--for Alina, mostly. He could fight--for Alina. “I am become a blade”? Sir, you got a whole-ass tattoo announcing that you’re an object in this woman’s service? No WAP is worth that, and I’m speaking as a very bisexual woman. My dude, it’s weird, it’s extra, it’s just too much. I’ll go back to the Darkling for two seconds to say that, ofc, his actions were painted as problematic and misogynistic and gross. But, like, the possessiveness Mal displays with Alina kinda feels on that same level? Why are we pretending he’s better when he actively tries to keep her low, keep her powerless, and keep her his? Again, dude got a tattoo of her sigil. He was fully prepared to be the leader of her guard even if she married Nikolai just for the opportunity for some sexytimes. I know that YA is about really intense emotion, the fire of teenage hormones and stuff, but that all just felt a bit toxic. The way that his entire life revolved around her while she tried to balance the role of saint, hero, orphan, and all the things she was just felt goofy and like a wildly unhealthy dynamic. 

Their whole relationship also felt really obvious, as I guess the Darkling being revealed as the trilogy’s big bad did. It was predictable, set up to be that way from the start. There were no surprises. It was Mal, and then it was still Mal, and in the end, it was also Mal. We weren’t really shown any of what made them so drawn to each other, we were just kind of told and expected to be fine with the intensity of it. But it read as being way too much for me, and god, it kept getting worse. Again, this one felt like low-hanging fruit--low effort, lazy writing. Nothing about it actually read to me as romantic, just as too much. They didn’t so much as fall in love as just start out that way, and reading that was somewhere between boring and uncomfortable. At least with the Darkling or hell--even Nikolai--we saw some of that chemistry unfold on the page. We were shown some of what made them work the way they did. There was something underpinning their relationship, and not just “oh, they’re supposed to be together”. I mean, after all JKR’s bullshit, I feel totally fine saying fuck authorial intent. If you can’t even be bothered to actually put your shit on the page, don’t ask me to blindly accept your version canon as gospel truth. 

We could have had Deckerstar vibes, Beauty and the Beast vibes, seen light and dark come together and surprise us by actually working well together. But no, we saw a special girl lose everything that made her special and settle for some mediocre fuckboy from her hometown. We get characters that actually have the potential to be dynamic and make for a good story, but she still ends up with this bland, vanilla, trick-ass bitch? It’s a major letdown when you’ve actually been exposed to decent fictional couples, tbh.

OOF! And the ending? Oh jesus fuck, that ending. Darkling just… dies. Just like that. I read three whole books for that? I know he comes back and dies again and all, but the whole trilogy felt like it was building up to something more, something deeper and greater and more profound. He was horrible for the things he did, sure, and he deserved defeat as long as he refused to waver from his power-hungry, destructive path. But his death brought about no closure. He and Alina never actually had the fight they needed to or reached an understanding with each other. Everything is left undone, unsaid, unexplored. The ending just felt super anticlimactic on the page, and so, the trilogy as a whole fell completely short of any mark I hoped it might hit.

Did I hope Darklina would be endgame? Sure. But I’d also have been A-okay with a tragic ending if it had been done right. Did I think it would have been a lot more interesting to see a redemption arc for Darkling than just… more of the same? Or maybe Mal develop a personality outside of Alina? Absolutely. There was so much potential, and it really feels like Bardugo squandered all of it. And for what? This was nearly as disappointing as the eighth season of Game of Thrones. I probably won’t be watching future seasons if they follow the books, but I guess I’m glad for the day or so of fleeting pleasure I got when I still had hope for a properly told story.